Should Marriage Be Viewed As An Achievement?

There is a premise amongst gender equality advocates that marriage should not be seen as an achievement neither should it be something to aspire to. 

I would like to expand on this statement so it doesn't look incomplete and seem as it may to some females that feminists discourage marriage. Not at all

What people consider as worthy to aspire to and invariably see as an achievement when it materialises is relative and should be determined by the person.

The reason why gender equalists would discourage marriage being an achievement lies in the fact that this idea, being diseminated and instilled in girls from very young ages has made marriage more or less a standard every woman must attain in order to be seen as 'a complete and accomplished woman'

The second issue being that not everyone will get married whether we like it or not. Some by choice, others not so much of a choice. These women who do not get married end up being tagged by society as failures or even worse, they tag themselves as so.

This emphasizes the fact that society doesn't give room for another metrics or value system to measure what exactly success and accomplishment is. 

I, as a person and not society should be able to measure for myself what success, completeness and accomplishment is to me. I should also have the prerogative to exclude marriage as a goal or something to aspire to.

                         . . . . . .

                    

Important to note that when you set a standard to measure your success in life, you have to do so using the right value systems or else, you would end up living a very depressing life, sulking about your inability to get "a man" or your ability to attract the wrong kind of men.

The book "The subtle art of not giving a f*ck" by Mark Manson tells the story of a man who sold millions of records but confessed to never being happy or feeling successful because he measured his success, not even according to the standards of society, because society saw him as accomplished but he himself measured success by his ability to sell more records than a rival band he always wanted to beat.

How many times will you perform better than your previous result but still feel unsuccessful because you didn't top the class?

You are prioritizing competition instead of progress.... I have no right to tell a person who has set this type of standard for themselves to change it but may I suggest it to be an unhealthy standard. 

In any case, the point still remains that you cannot let society determine for you what is success or an accomplishment and what isn't.

Society has told us that we have to get a degree, we did that. That have to study a "professional" course, we did that. Then it told us we had to get a good paying job, we did that. Then that we had to act a certain kind of way, then it told us if we weren't called "Mrs" by the age of 25, there was something wrong or missing in our lives.

Funnily enough, the farce is not even about falling in love, it's about being married, whether you are in love or not.

                       . . . . . .

I do not mind when people post things like "I won in marriage" neither do I mind that women aspire to get married. It is not a bad thing. 

What is a bad thing is that we do not give room for those who have different value systems, therefore do not prioritize getting married. It is grossly unfair. 

Everyone should be allowed to choose for themselves what metrix they want to use to measure success.

And regardless of the fact that gender equality activists might argue that aspiring to be married could end up making you feel like a failure if that doesn't happen, you could also argue that even the "aspirations" that we see as normal like being successful in our careers is something that is equally as uncertain as marriage.

 We may not end up hitting our goals and becoming the billionaires we all want to be. Isn't it as easy for a "career driven" woman to end up depressed because of this as another woman ending up depressed because she didn't achieve her goal(even if the goal was to get married)

There will always be the possibility of not reaching all our goals but it doesn't stop us from wanting them, and especially wanting/desiring something as beautiful as marriage, a union built on love and mutual respect. 

What I think is healthy is that we not discourage people who desire to one day get married but instead spread the word that: 

1. Every person should be able to decide for themselves if this is something they genuinely desire.

2. Our identity should be found in Christ Jesus, not in being referred to as "Mrs" or "Boss lady". Jesus is where your identity lies. Know this and know peace. 

Thank you for reading and I really hope this post helps us in some way.

And if you haven't subscribed to my newsletter, please do so for life changing posts on Faith, Love and Intentional living. Below is the link

Subscribe to Life and Godliness101 Newsletter

Until my next Blog Post, Stay happy!!!