Tips for Counseling People

Have you been in a situation where you are confused on a decision to make? 

I know I have and I unfortunately do not think I handled the whole dillema well. 

I discussed my situation with one too many people and was comforted when most people could relate to my situation. The problem is that everyone gave advice based on their experiences and I made decisions based on that- other people's experiences, which in the long run happened to be far from that God's plan for me was. 

That experience taught me a couple of things on counseling that I think can help both counselors and counselees. I have learnt that- 

1. No one's life is a template.

We all have different processes even if we may have similar experiences. What God would have us do or learn from our experiences may differ. 

A major problem plaguing society right now is that people come up with an opinion from research or experience and push to make that opinion a standard for everyone. This strips us of our individuality, our ability to form our own opinions/ make our decisions and most importantly, it waters down the need follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in our Life. 

We all have to learn that our opinions are not the standard and our life's are not templates.

2. Counseling ought to point people back to the Holy Spirit

You don't want to be building strong ties with your counselee while your the counselee has little ties with the Holy Spirit

The paramount goal in counseling should be that the counselee develops an intimate relationship with God enough to always be eager to speak to God directly about life's challenges and hear God for themselves. Counseling should point people towards Jesus and not ourselves.

The truth is that we do not always have the perfect answers or advice to people's heartaches and dillema's. It's humility to point people back to the one who actually does - the Holy Spirit 

3. Listen effectively 

This is one thing I still struggle with sometimes because it's in my nature to give both solicited and unsolicited advice 😄😭 

I know we feel like it's in our job description as counselors to give advice. It makes us feel useful as a matter of fact. But I realized that listening effectively is not just about the quality of advice you can give, alot of times it's about just listening and being present for your counselee.

As counselors, it's important to discern the needs of your counselee and respond accordingly. 

There are times people just want us to listen and do not necessarily need advice. This is not wasted time so long as you continually remind them to put Jesus at the center of their decision making.

I really hope this posts helps as I know that we've all been in situations where we had to be 'counselors' even to our friends.

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Thank you for reading and until my next blog post, Stay happy!!!