The Detrimental Effect of Gender Stereotypes in Human Relationships

I believe that the propagation and reinforcements of gender stereotypes have achieved a reverse effect in society than what was originally intended.

For the sake of context, let's briefly look at what stereotypes mean.

Wikipedia defines the word ' stereotype' as "a generalized belief about a particular category of people It is an expectation that people might have about every person of a particular group"

Consequently, a Gender stereotype can be defined as a generalized view or preconceived notion about attributes that should be possessed or roles that should be played by a particular gender.

Not only have stereotypes stripped people of their individuality but it has encouraged unhealthy patterns in some instances. Today, I will share my thoughts on the latter claim and hopefully in another blog post, I’ll get to share my thoughts on the former.

Zodiac signs have become quite unpopular in recent times, mostly because people now use them to justify bad behaviour and unhealthy patterns.

“That’s how I am, I’m Libra” 

Side note (I’m actually Libra lol)    

It's not the easiest thing to accommodate a person with a bad habit but what makes it even more upsetting is when the 'offenders' try to justify these bad habits with whatever they like, expecting that the world should understand and accommodate them.

I’ve been thinking about how similar this is to a lot of Gender stereotypes, the only difference being that these stereotypes are so willingly accepted as a way of justifying unhealthy patterns. 

Y’all remember the video I spoke about in this post where I gave my opinion on a man who spoke with all seriousness on how men are wired differently; they are supposedly wired to be able cheat while still being in love with their wives. 

It's no surprise that a lot of men would agree because of how much we have championed this stereotype.

If a person said "I am able to cheat and still love my wife because Libras are wired that way", we would have a major problem with it, wouldn't we? And when I say “we”, I’m talking about both men and women. 

I find it funny how people are willing to speak against using zodiac signs to justify unhealthy habits. We say things like “if you’re a terrible person, it is your fault and your zodiac sign has nothing to do with it” but then we lay low when it is gender stereotypes being used to justify these toxic traits.

I ask again, “how have we come to justify unhealthy patterns with gender stereotypes?" 

Don’t these stereotypes passed down through socialization do more harm than good?

Michelle Obama in her book “Becoming” put it this way:

“It’s remarkable how stereotypes function as an actual trap. How many “angry black women” have been caught in the circular logic of that phrase? When you aren’t being listened to, why wouldn’t you get louder? If you’re written off as angry or emotional, doesn’t that just cause more of the same?”

                    

I’ll give another instance of a conversation I had with a friend recently. He made a post on how women have to understand gender differences. Apparently, a man was built to do everything possible to get a woman to agree to a relationship with him and then when she does, he retreats and goes on to a new challenge to conquer. That’s what starting a relationship was reduced to - ‘a conquest that ends when the woman agrees to date the man’ 

Women were advised in that post to understand and accept this “stereotype” and stay confident in the fact that we were loved, even with the lack of attention and attentiveness to our needs

I kept wondering yet again how he so easily used a stereotype to justify a lack of intentionality in a relationship a person consciously entered . Isn’t it things like this that make women feel like they are unnecessarily needy and demanding when all they ask for is the bare minimum. 

Even worse, isn’t it stereotypes like this that make them accommodate trashy behaviour?

                 

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People normally excuse gender stereotypes by saying that these stereotypes have been proven by research. I could argue that zodiac signs have equally been proven to those that believe in them or that research can a lot of times be subjective but I'll just make a brief comment on my theory as regards gender stereotypes being proven. 

Hopefully, I will write a more detailed blog post to expand my thoughts on this.

I do not doubt that a lot of people conform to popular stereotypes but as Michelle Obama said, ‘don’t stereotypes function as actual traps?'

I had a conversation with a dear friend recently, on why I didn’t think he should be reinforcing the stereotype of women acting more on emotions than logic, and this is an excerpt from some of the things I told him when he brought up the issue of stereotypes being proven    

‘In the book “Atomic Habits” by James clear, he mentioned seeing the habit you want to build not as something you do but as who you are i.e a part of your identity. 

You want to write more often? Don’t tell your mind that you write every now and then, instead say “I am a writer” 

He mentioned this as one of the first ways to build a habit.

It has also been proven by ‘research’ that your behaviour will a lot of times conform to your perceived identity.

When you lay out and champion stereotypes by socializing and indoctrinating women right from birth to believe these things, you are telling women what their identity is and most women wholeheartedly accept this and so their behaviour aligns to the identity they have accepted.

I do not consider myself a person that is ruled primary by emotions instead of logic. In fact, I am not. 

But I do not consider myself an exception to the rule, cause that in itself would be affirming the stereotype.

Maybe it is because I have never accepted stereotypes as my identity, I am able to live above them. Especially the unhealthy ones’

This is a summarized part of what I think on this subject but this is not even the essence of this blog post. 

The point is we have to really look within and evaluate if these stereotypes most of us reinforce and enable are actually unhealthy and if they are causing us growth or doing the opposite. 

Are they really enabling us understand each other or are they justifying toxicity like in the instances I mentioned above.

Would it be so bad to try to understand people as individuals rather than judge them as a group of their class? 

These are some of the thoughts that occupy my mind. My reasoning may have some lapses but my goaI and hope is that posts like this can in the least, start a conversation geared towards growth.

Thank you for reading and feel free to share your thoughts by leaving a comment.

Until my next blog post, Stay happy!!!

Reference

Wikipedia definition of stereotypes