Transitioning to Dating Mode

We most times get ideas and beliefs about relationships when single. Some of these ideas are realistic and healthy, some are overblown, and others are entirely toxic.

While I was single, I had to reorient my mind on a few things.

This was done to make the shift to dating mode easier.

Today, I'd love to share about a couple of things I worked hard to learn and unlearn.

I believe this will be beneficial for those of us who have been single for a long time or have never been in a relationship before, so we don't get into relationships with ideas that may be detrimental; however, if you're already dating at this moment, I think this post will equally be of help to you. 

Please remember to share and comment.

PESSIMISM

Pessimism is the notion that something unpleasant will happen or that anything you're engaging in won't go as envisioned.

Pessimists are people who constantly think the worst, and a few people begin relationships or spend much of their time as singles being incredibly pessimistic about what the future holds for them in terms of relationships; believing things would go wrong even before they begin.

Some causes of pessimism include:

-Bad past experiences

-Listening to the wrong narrative e.g "breakfast na national cake"

-Fear of the unknown 

Youths increasingly assume that heartbreak awaits them in whatever relationship they engage in

This can lead to a number of undesirable tendencies, such as an unwillingness to be vulnerable or emotionally committed in a relationship or a reluctance to work out problems in a relationship since there was no expectation of a good long-term partnership from the onset.

Pessimists usually do one of two things:

-Date to "see how things go" and maybe validate the hypothesis that "all men are the same"

-Allow the fear of failure keep them from dating.

Each of these tendencies should be resisted.

Start reconditioning your thinking and unlearning these concepts if you're currently single.

Your relationship isn't supposed to be short-lived; it's not supposed to simply enable you with "gather experience" with a variety of people or introduce you to new eateries. It's a lot more than that.

There may be plenty of individuals who have had awful dating experiences, but there are also countless people with amazing testimonies, so why assume yours would go south?

God wants you to succeed in all you do, and the best thing you can do is agree with him.

So, no more pessimism, regardless of how horrible things are around you or how bad your prior experiences have been.

Study your mistakes, learn from your experiences, as well as those of others, resolve to improve, and remember that God is Good.

UNREALISTIC SPECIFICATIONS

Although this topic has been overemphasized, please allow me to remind you of it once again.

1 Peter 1:12- "You are holding firmly to the truth you were given. But I am still going to remind you of these things

We spend all our time as singles creating an imagined soulmate, only to struggle in the end because firstly, that person does not exist, and secondly, you're hesitant about starting a relationship with the person you actually like because he doesn't play the keyboard. lol

You might wish to shred up your list (of impracticable criteria) and seek the Holy Spirit's guidance in writing a replacement list, as Pastor Micheal Todd suggested.

What are the likelihood that the Man God has chosen for you is dark-skinned and athletic?

Will you miss out on something amazing because of preconceived notions about what a guy or woman should look like?

You might want to look into this to avoid troubles in the future, dear single.

CENSORING CONTENT

Ideas and thought patterns on dating may stem from a number of sources, notably films, other people's experiences, and dating blogs like the one you're currently reading.

There is a plethora of info on the web regarding love, dating, and marriage.

We're all following a relationship expert or a social media couple, reading Twitter threads, and acquiring ideas and perspectives based off of all of these contents, which could be both healthy and unhealthy.

We adopt these ideals as our own, unfiltered, and are unwilling to bend.

Half truths abound on social media, and there's a lot of risk in depending on them.

It is always more advantageous to be discerning about the voices you listen to and the belief systems you embrace.

SINGLE AND SATISFIED

We might get so engrossed in thinking, wondering, and planning a relationship that we forget to live in the now and not become overly fascinated with the idea of a relationship.

I know we all want to say "God when" when we view the couple goals photos of Minister Kaestrings and his wife.

But I hope you're not comfortable with settling just because you want to take amazing photos with your bae.

It's vital that you don't settle for anything less than the person God has for you before they arrive.

And that you do not frighten that guy or woman away when you meet them because you are unable to love and accept yourself without them in your life.

You shouldn't rely solely on a relationship to provide you joy, peace, and happiness.

You want to make certain that you are single and satisfied right now.

Intentionally, yet patiently, awaiting your Boaz/Ruth.

I hope this post has been helpful to you, if so, please share the link and anticipate my next write-up.

Thank you for reading this post and until my next Blog Post, Stay happy!!!!