MISTAKES TO AVOID IN CHRISTIAN DATING

How did I get to write this post?

Being mostly around a Christian community, I have noticed common mistakes that I strongly feel Believers should be deliberate about avoiding in their dating relationships. 

I trust that this post will clear misconceptions and allow believers have a more pleasant, less regrettable and most importantly, a Godly Dating experience.

SERIAL DATING

This is a term I've heard that qualifies the act of falling in love every other month, rushing in and out of relationships,and generally not being able to fathom being single.

This is not a healthy place to be.

It's not normal to never be comfortable with singleness.

The truth is wisdom on relationships doesn't come with the number of people you've been with.

It's actually quite easy(and rampant) to keep making wrong decisions with different people.

Stop running in and out of relationships. Give yourself a moment to breathe, heal and learn.

Believe me that whatever you are looking for in constant relationships, you can only find in Christ.

If you're in this situation, please speak to a counselor.

THE NEED TO GET KNOWLEDGE.

You need to listen to this- it's not less spiritual to read books on relationships. 

I know you love to read on Spiritual Gifts and living a Holy life which is good but I hope you do not neglect reading on relationships?

A pastor I was listening to spoke on how a couple of years into marriage, he had to admit to himself that he knew nothing about women and relationships contrary to what he had thought ,he then had to become even more deliberate about knowledge in this aspect- not because he wanted to become the relationship counsellor that he is now but because he wanted his marriage to work and to love his wife as God intended. 

Note that he was already a pastor when he did this.. 

Dear Christian community, be honest with yourself enough to admit that you need help when you do, and that talking about relationships doesn't make you any less spiritual. 

Be bold as you walk up to that bookshop and ask for 5 love languages by Gary Chapman. 

Talk to people about what you've learnt so we can grow together. 

There's nothing spiritual about a lack of knowledge.

We are called to Excel in all spheres of Life, not leaving our relationships behind.

"I'M NOT READY TO DATE"

A couple of years ago, I recommended a book on dating to an acquaintance at fellowship and the reply I got was : 

 "I'm not ready to date"

It got me thinking, do you have to at that point in time be "ready to date" in order to learn certain things about something you may not avoid in life. 

Would you skip service at church if they decided to do a full series on Love and marriage because you are not ready to get married?

I may understand if you want to be single forever(still, no knowledge is wasted) but that's not even the case, is it?

You want to one day fall in love and get married?

You want to be called "this man" or "someone's son", Yes?

Well then, I think it's only proper to be more intentional about your season of singleness. Doing things that deliberately prepare you for your future with someone else.

So read books, ask questions, listen to podcasts even and especially now that you're "indisposed" to relationships.

Remember that while experience may be such a good teacher, it doesn't necessarily have to be your experience.

What I'm saying is do well to learn from the experience of other people.

Be intentionally single.

I hope this post has been helpful to you, if so, please share the link.

My next post will be a continuation of this subject matter so anticipate it.

Thank you for reading and until my next Blog Post, Stay happy!!!!