Self reflective questions to ask yourself before you get into a relationship

A relationship is not something you should rush into. You're going to be letting someone into your space making it expedient to give paramount consideration to the time and person you choose to date because that decision will have an impact in your life, hopefully, positively. 

Before you engage on this journey of Love, I believe that there are a couple of questions you should consider which will help you make informed decisions on your relationship life, these questions are listed below:

1. Am I ready? 

This question may sound cliché but is such an important question. You would be surprised at the number of people who get into relationships they not ready for, largely because they don't even know they not ready.

I advice that you not just ask yourself that question when you already have someone asking you out or when you are already catching feelings for a person, because amongst other reasons, your emotions may be too clouded to make objective decisions.

So ask yourself this question periodically and sit down and analyse the question putting into consideration, your state at that moment (examining your ability to handle a relationship, the perks that come along with it, the responsibility, your overall best interest) and ofcourse your priorities for that season.

2. Have I counted the cost?

This question is in a way related to the first as it helps you determine whether or not you are ready for a relationship.

Luke 14:28 "So don’t follow me without considering what it will cost you. For who would construct a house before first sitting down to estimate the cost to complete it?"

You are considering asking a person out or accepting a proposal, be sure that there will be changes that come along with making another person a part of your life.

You'll have to be accountable, you'll have to make sacrifices, you'll have to make decisions with your partner in mind. 

There is a cost that comes with deciding to get into a relationship or deciding to engage in anything at all as a matter of fact so before you make such huge decisions, you really have to make sure you're willing to make the sacrifices that come with it and live with the effect of that decision. 

This is just so you don't get into a relationship and start feeling that you didn't bargain for what comes along with having a girlfriend or that you didn't consider the consequence of dating an unbeliever.

Count the cost before you engage on the journey and if it's not something you can take, don't feel pressured to get into a relationship.

3. Why do I want to date?

This question speaks of motive.

I have to come to realize that alot of people get into relationships for the wrong reasons, I have heard of girls agreeing to date guys out of respect for them, maybe because of their age or the position they occupied (even at church). Most of those relationships did not end well as you might expect. 

You could also decide to date simply to get back at your ex or because of peer pressure; I consider these motives to be disadvantageous.

You'll see more examples on wrong motives in subsequent posts.

Basically, what I'm saying is that you should check your motives and make sure they are not detrimental to yourself and to the person you're trying to build a relationship with. 

 

4.Why this person?

You want to get into a relationship with a specific person?

Why? 

By any chance, could it be that you feel you would both look good together on camera, or because he's Rich, maybe even because your friends think you both suit each other or to fulfill a childhood dream.

Not that any of this reasons are bad in themselves but you cannot act based on the mere fact that she'll be fine for social media pictures or that she's in your social circle or that this man could get you out of poverty or maybe because you feel he can pray so it just seems right to date him/her.

You want to make sure that you're choosing a partner for the right reasons which leads me to my last question

5. Is this God's will for me? 

A person can check all the boxes, you could have the most pure motive, and you feel a hundred percent ready to date but what is most important before you make any decision is that you are certain that the decision you are making is God's will for you at that season. 

Everything may seem good and perfect on paper but then that's not all it takes to build a God centered relationship. 

It's important that in every situation, in every decision of every aspect of Life, you consistently make sure that you are walking in line with what God would have you do. 

I hope this post has been of help to you. If so, please share the link to the post and leave a comment.

Thank you for reading and Stay happy..